holy shit…

no im not no matter how many times you deny it will always be in love with ou, from the first time i saw you strut on the campground that cold august day to when i first saw you saw you my freshman year it will always remind me of love at first sight your being serious?100%what about daniii?i always loved youwhat do you mean by you love me..?i want you to be mine and be with meyour being dead serious?dead seriousnuh ahhbeleive me for oncei just feel like your just joking arounddim not im dead serious be with me?why’d you tell carly you’ve never had feelings for me then?i didnt want her to knowbut you even told me that you only think of me as your best friendd.only now have i realized that i cant stand seeing you with anybody else and i wanna be with youyour being serious with me right now?yesss i am!!!like you swear on everything you are being completely serious about this..?yes i amyou swear on everythinggyes!you swear on our friendship?i do i swear on our friendshipthat you’re in love with me, and have been?YESS!oh my godddwat do u thinki’m in shockk. i don’t know what to sayyysay yes…i never ended things with casey last night devin..ughhh …i don’t know what to do..well what are you feelingi just like. i don’t know. like your my best friend.ohh:’(but i don’t know. like. have you ever told anyone else this?jake t thts itsooo do you dont like me?well i mean like of course i’ve had feelings for you..like what feelings? i’ve had feelings for you. like i’ve wanted to be with you before.mee too but ive never had the balls to ctually tell you till now, like tif i mean were best friends and i value the shit out of it and i just didnt want to be friends anymore i just want you where is this coming from? like what made you decide to just tell me out of theblue tonight?i thought about it and realized i didnt want you with another guy, i want you with me what about our friendship?i want that and morebut like if something happens, then whats gonna happen to eeverything we’ve had..im not surei don’t know what to sayim sorryfor what?saying this so lateit’s fine. i just don’t know what to do.make the decision thats best for youi don’t know what the best decision is..im sorry but no matter what i will still love youahhhhhhhwhati really don’t know what to doooo. whos better?you..who do you wanna be with?i’d rather be with you.then be with mebut i don’t want to ruin our friendship..me neither, i thought the same before making this step but i feel like your wirth it*worthwhat did jacob say when you told him this?he didnt beleive me like you but then he starteed to by the way i talked about youthis is crazy. i understandwhat do i tell casey2:05amare you positive you wanna be with meyeahh..i dont know tell him i dont know, but we should start slow then like officially go out so casey dosent get pissedyeahhbut i really wanna be with you tiff its been killing mei still feel like this isn’t real..y?cause idk. like its so unexpected2:16ambut i feel like if i didnt tell you earlier casey wouldve had you and i love you sooo much and i dont want tht to happen
conversation i just had with my best guy friend.

Wassup,

I’m Tifani, I’m fifteen. I go to WLHS and am a sophomore. I have a boyfriend, and one best friend. That’s about it. :)

Dear Carly,

You are my very best friend. The other night, you sent me the nicest text I have ever received. I don’t think anyone has said something like that to me before, and honestly it made me feel so much closer to you. Nothing can or will ever come between us. Our friendship is one of the strongest out there and I know it can withstand anything. and we need to make sure it can. I love you so much Carly, without you by my side I would go crazy. You’re the one who helps me get through every break up, and sets my mind straight, and predicts my future with every boy. you’re the one who troops everywhere with me, and party’s like crazy but gets serious when necessary. you’re the shoulder i choose to cry on when i need to shed some tears. When something goes wrong, your number is the first one i dial. hell, you fucking came to my house at 4 in the morning because you had a bad night. I’d say we’re pretty good of friends. anyways, carly, i love you. you’re like a sister to me. and without you i’d be nothing. 

Love always, 

Nifnay.

Letters

I’m in the mood to write letters to the people i care a lot about. :D here we go. 

cutest message i have ever received.

Tifani♥ Tifani♥ Tifani♥ .. I feel so complete, Im glad I found you♥ Im glad you found me♥ hun, we’re meant to be♥
being your boyfriend means alot to me:)

this put the biggest smile on my face, 

Christopher, you’re adorable.

shitt

iight. so, i haven’t been on here in forever. but shits going on soo, i’m gonna blog about it. so, i’ve been talking to this kid casey, and like we got into a fight last week and i was thinking about ending everything. he claims that i’m with guys too much and i smoke pott too much, and doesn’t want me drinking on new years eve unless he’s there. which i can understand all that. but the thing is, he smokes more than i do, and he drinks when i’m not with him. like that’s not right. if i can’t do something then neither can he. and so anyways, that got resolved, but now, i was just thinking about everything, and i decided to call him and tell him that i was thinking about ending shit (dumbest idea ever) and it was cause he’s constantly one wording me, and always acting like something’s wrong, and he always makes big deals out of small things. but what i didn’t really think about is how often he does it, which is hardly ever. like, i just jump out of conclusion sometimes, and make big deals out of small things, and it’s just some problems i have that i need to work on. you know? trust issues and stuff. and i tried to explain that to him repeatedly, but he won’t let me. and he just kept saying “if you think your gonna end it, then do it.” but i don’t want to end it, and i still think i might. i just don’t know. i’m so fucking confused. like, i know i shouldn’t be with him, but my feelings for him make me wanna stay. it’s so contradicting. i am so contradicting. i’m just fucked up. something’s wrong with me i guess. but anyways, tonight, he was plowing with all the snow and what not. and i guess he got home, and says he’s going back out at six, but he’s with spencer. and they’re fucking smoking. he fucking hung up with me so he could go smoke some more with spencer. like UGH iwhfskjzdkmdnsfhskdjfjdhfjkdzsfkjnzdkfnhj pisses me the FUCK off. i just don’t know. i don’t know. i don’t know. i don’t know. i don’t know. i don’t know. :| i don’t know what to do anymore. ever. i’m just fucking messed up. like honestly something is wrong with me. blah. i don’t know. 

Day 01 – Introduce yourself.
Day 02 – Your first love.
Day 03 – Your parents.
Day 04 – What you ate today. 
Day 05 – Your definition of love.
Day 06 – Your day.
Day 07 – Your best friend.
Day 08 – A moment.
Day 09 – Your beliefs.
Day 10 – What you wore today. 
Day 11 – Your siblings.
Day 12 – What’s in your bag.
Day 13 – This week.
Day 14 – What you wore today.
Day 15 – Your dreams.
Day 16 – Your first kiss.
Day 17 – Your favorite memory.
Day 18 – Your favorite birthday.
Day 19 – Something you regret.
Day 20 – This month.
Day 21 – Another moment.
Day 22 – Something that upsets you.
Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better.
Day 24 – Something that makes you cry.
Day 25 – A first.
Day 26 – Your fears.
Day 27 – Your favorite place.
Day 28 – Something that you miss.
Day 29 – Your aspirations.
Day 30 – One last moment

Dear Momma,

I seriously don’t know what I would do without you. You mean the world and more to me. I would be nothing and no one if it weren’t for you. You’re the one person who got me through everything i’ve ever been through. I know sometimes I’m a bitch to you, and I give you attitude or talk back, but I don’t mean to. I try my hardest to be the best daughter possible for the best mother. You have done so much for me, and I don’t know how you find the strength to deal with the shit you deal with. Mommy, without you, I am nothing. I would be a lifeless bitch if you weren’t in my life and I am so so so greatful to have an amazing mom like you. every other girl in this world should be jealous. Having you as my mom makes me the luckiest girl ever. I love you mom. <3

Day Nine

Something i’m proud of in the past few days isss, my day today, cause i cleaned everything, and now i feel accomplished :D

Day Eight

This month, i have a lot of goals.

Here We Go:

1. Get ready for school.
2. Figure out what i wanna do about my dad sitch. by August 30th.
3. GET FIT!
4. Quit smokinnn.
5. Make monaaay.
6. Fucking party like crazy.